Grandfather Says
Harry Deuel (Dorothy's father, Michael's grandfather) was spouter of the wisdom that gave Michael the fortitude and character to build his dream. Many years ago Nick and Marianne Moffitt gave Michael a bound journal with the title stamped in gold: Grandfather used to say… Over the years, whenever Michael remembered one of grandfather’s cherished sayings, he would preserve it in this journal. What follows is a transcription of many of those sayings which are really the foundation of Rubelia.
The Shriek | In Memory of MCR| Soiree
The greatest sin is to hurt someone.
Beware of a man with too many friends.
To love is to die a little. There is no greater joy.
There is something wrong with everyone.
The greatest war is the war that rages within me. The greatest joy is the joy that I have given. The greatest pain is the pain that I have caused.
It is rich to live like a poor man.
Thinking stops many good things from happening. Just shut up and dig.
Plow deeper.
A clean bird is a happy bird.
Don't worry about it until you can do something about it.
Keep your own corner swept. Examples are your strongest gift to others.
Offending others is stupid. Don't bother people with the truth.
Enthusiasm is a gift from the Gods.
Don't bore people with the truth. Laughter is the song of men.
Cry alone. Laugh with others.
Don't talk too wise. People love others to be a little foolish. We all want to be loved.
How do we prove we are not crazy?
Blessed be our imagination. It makes life a joy.
You can do anything sitting in a chair.
The face you have is the one you deserve.
You get what you deserve and deserve what you get.
Getting rich quickly has to be cheating someone. It's wrong.
Health is wealth.
Your best friend can be your worst enemy.
Everyone must benefit from a relationship, or the ship will sail away.
The final journey is death - a great adventure.
Don’t tie anyone down in rough times or the rope will break.
Business must be based on reputation, not trust.
Children are fragile flowers. Don't step on them.
Change is one guarantee we have through life.
Lead the herd if you want to get stepped on.
You can buy all the trouble you want.
Money does buy happiness.
Experience all emotions so you can sympathize with others.
Laugh at yourself. Taking yourself seriously means you have not looked at the heavens.
Men are fragile. Be gentle.
Beware of those who talk of the “theys” and “thems” of the world.
Eliminate the “I” from your thoughts. “We” and “you” are of interest to the other person.
Pregnancy is the result of a man poking fun at a girl.
Live to work. It’s fun.
If you think about yourself, you are not working hard enough.
Man is the only animal who loves, hates, helps, kills, who has all the facets of a diamond and all the imperfections. Isn’t it wonderful?
Man is only as big as the things that bother him.
Advice? Memorize Kipling’s poem; “If.”
I knew my grandfather and he knew George Washington. Our country is very young.
Think about it like sex if you want to concentrate. Wears you out.
Las Vegas? Wasn’t built out there from winners!
Notice how the Willow Tree survives? It bends.
Nothing is worth anything until it is being used.
If you want to be disappointed, depend on someone.
Her finishing school was bombed.
It is better to be married twice than three times.
Give fifty cents and they’ll call you cheap. Give nothing and they’ll leave you alone.
Don’t bother me while I’m getting older.
There is no such thing as just A mouse, my dear.
Originality is undiscovered plagiarism.
You can count a man’s worries by the number of keys he carries.
If you do not want to see him again, loan him five dollars.
It does not matter who is right.
My mother was the wisest person. If she said it once she must have said it a thousand times: “Harry! Go out and play!”
To make others happy you have to make yourself happy first.
It is a great luxury not to like something.
Good news can wait. Bad news will hunt you down.
The word “No” never built anything. It is simply the easiest answer.
Every man is worth two dollars a day from the neck down, with unlimited potential from the neck up.
If Hitler would have been drinking there would not have been a war.
Behind every great disaster goes a lot of work. (If they had lived in a tent they would not have had all those house problems).
The truth surfaces every 20 years.
If you are happy from where you come from, you'll be happy where you are going.
Make sure you marry a girl with a pleasant voice.
If you want to worry about something; buy something shiny.
This is how people live when everything goes wrong.
I never watched a man work more on a place to make it so totally worthless.
We would not have all these problems if we lived in a tent.
“Grandfather, do you ever pray?”
“Of course I do. I pray all the time. Won’t do you any harm, and if there
is a God it could do you a lot of good.”
There wouldn’t be any upholstery in cars if it weren’t for women.
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you want your dog run over, keep him penned up.
It wouldn't be worth nothing if it weren't for people.
I wish everyone could be happy. When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh.
Everybody can’t ride in the wagon. Someone has to push.
Give a man a good wife and he becomes happy. Give a man a bad wife and he becomes a philosopher.
Women have clean minds; they are always changing them.
Marry a girl who has more to lose than you do.
Pain is the human condition.
If we were any smarter we would probably worry more.
If you want to enjoy sausage or respect law, don't watch either being made.
When you’re out of money, start laughing.
How do we prove we are not crazy?
Free advice? It is worth its price sometimes.
If you cannot smile, don’t open shop.
If you smile a lot, then your wrinkles will develop in the right places.
The brighter the bulb, the shorter it burns.
The older the tree, the rougher the bark, the more gorgeous it is.
Michael, I want you to be a romantic. Romantics are always disappointed, but cynics always expect the worst.
If you did not know how old you were, how old would you feel?
If you let a girl have what she wants, then she will want something else.
More and more I want less and less.
Privacy is a rare and precious thing.
Bethlehem is the same latitude as Tombstone, Arizona.
We cannot conceal what we are.
The best work is done for love’s sake.
Delete your need to understand. Things are as they are.
Don’t live here in peace and harmony by being pleasant to everybody. Be selective.
Keep your own corner swept. Examples are contageous.
Lose your dream and you die.
Things do not matter. People do.
Life must be gotten through with as little self-contempt as possible. Self contempt and suicide run parallel.
People are like fruit trees; near their last crop they go berserk.
Too much wisdom is obnoxious.
Life is difficult. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
Put wood by the outhouse and carry a stick in.
California is the only place where you eat outside and pee in the house.
If you are feeling too happy, borrow some money.
Men prefer broken houses and married women.
It is a free country unless someone does not like what you are doing.
If you smile when everything goes wrong you are either a nitwit or a repairman.
If you don’t want your roof to leak, don’t build one.
The “P” is silent, like in surf bathing.
When accused of being a womanizer, he replied, “Well, it would be a colossal waste of my time chasing men.”
Good taste is the enemy of creativity.
You can’t leap over a chasm in two hops.
Yes, I had a dream come true once, and it turned my life into a nightmare.
People that don’t die have something wrong with them.
My wife ran off with my best friend. I sure miss him.
Old sins cast long shadows.
Happiness must be earned.
I just want to live long enough to see what happens next.
I'm too old to die young.
Death is Nature’s way of saying hello.
Success has many fathers. Failure is an orphan.
Truth is a very special thing. I only use it on special occasions.
Perception is frequently more important than the truth.
It is none of your business what other people think of you.
I quit school. I was losing all my dumb friends.
I knew I was different as a little boy. Other boys wanted to be policemen and firemen while I wanted to be a bachelor when I grew up.
Wisdom is depressing. It alters happy perceptions.
Keep a cat or feed the mice.
If the good Lord wanted me to be rich he would have tended to that a long time ago.
It is a perfect project. It has everything going against it.
Feminism is always an indicator of imminent collapse.
Do not say anything you do not want to hear.
I never met a girl who doesn’t teach me something.
Lord. Why me?
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
If you want a house, build one.
If you are contemplating suicide, don't put it off.
It is a very cold day when people run out of excuses.
I look funny when the sun is out.
Don't defend yourself. History will.
We are all so fortunate to have something to complain about.
I rise early, but take a long time to wake up.
I am not illiterate: I know who my mother is.
I am blessed with selective amnesia.
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.
What is it about the word NO that you don’t understand?
Marriage is a triumph of hope over experience.
Praise the man who plows and remember the horses who do the work.
My lack of knowledge is terrifying.
Things are as they are and will end as they must.
Michael’s perception of reality is not quite adequate.
The devil lives in the fine print.
If you do not care where you are you can’t get lost.
Good people get to die first.
The universe is not run by the merit system.
In every paradise there lives a serpent.
Remember to fulfill your anxiety.
If it does not work, don’t fix it.
One man can’t fix everything.
On a Tin Palace tour one day, a man asked, “How did all of this happen?”
Grandpa replied, “We just forgot to take things to the dump.”
Grandfather looked in on Michael when he was living in the bottle house. He had brought a bottle of wine and sat down in the blue chair. Looking around the tiny hovel he said, “Michael, you have taught me something; there's more than one way to stay single.”
Don't tell people about the labor pains. Just show them the baby.
Accept change gracefully.
